It is a very traumatic experience both for her and us her parents. It was no coincidence that a few days ago, Cecille spoke of being “Braver than Brave.”
Though Carmella is heavily sedated and the region where the aspiration needle will be inserted is topically anaesthetized, she can still sense when it starts. The eyes may be heavy and her body limp but she will still moan when the needle starts to invade her spine.
Because most of her body is held down for the procedure except her feet, they would weakly wiggle in agony. It is a very emotional moment and it always crushes our heart. We weep.
But braver than brave is what we have to be. No matter the helplessness, no matter how heavy is the burden of seeing your daughter go through a painful procedure, we carry on the best we can and pray.
We stroke her hair hoping that through the pain she will feel we are there with her. We whisper “I love you” through her crying. We keep whatever strength we have left for it is through us she draws hers.
Yes we try to be braver than brave.
We try to see past the suffering of the moment, embracing what hurts while focusing on what gives hope.
In spite of my own tears, I gently kiss this child so distressed with an experience she cannot understand with hope that it will calm her fears.
We keep our faith knowing it is all that we have.
We try our best to live normal lives in spite of illness and reach out to those who hurt like us.
Yes, we try to be braver than brave.
