Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Papa

I do not know if this is what nature dictates, if this is how we, finite beings, should evolve.

I noticed that as one grows much older, we seem to become more and more sensitive to all the faults and misgivings surrounding us. And rather than take action ourselves, we mouth tons of criticisms on the flaws that we never cease to see. Sadly, we refuse to move beyond that, to act on the situation ourselves, perhaps given to the thought that at our age being critical is a right.

And whenever we are left with very little choice then forced to take action, we hire someone to do the work for us. I think this is so we can continue mouthing criticisms which, for some, has become a sport.

I find myself becoming more and more like this.

Which is why I find Papa quite unique and very special. At nearly 82 years old, rather than criticize, he would quietly analyze and then act. He is one of those who believes that if you want things done, you better get a go at it.

(Photo credit: Kyrke B. Jaleco)

At 82, Papa would go around DIY shops to research on color themes, seek out the best brand and then get the stuff he needs to start his project. And so our home in Baguio remains as beautiful and homey as it was the first time we moved in.

At 82, while the rest in his age group hire a cabinet maker, Papa will work on building the cabinet himself.

At 82, except for the roof, he would paint the whole house, inside and outside.

Once he saw an expert install a built-in closet with louvered doors. Seeing how beautiful they were, he took on building louvered doors by himself for one of the closets at home. Though he later admitted it was some challenge he got himself into, he did finish them. It was finely crafted that one will not suspect it was built by someone without experience, by someone who just believed he could.

At 82, Papa's mind is constantly at work for ideas on home improvement. He knows which type of faucets will work, what parts to get for your plumbing, why this sort of material work best, which tools will rightly apply; all opinions drawn from personal experience.

He also knows which fertilizer will suit the type of orchids my late mother left to his care. In fact, he knows how to propagate them. He is pretty adept in using compost in caring for his small garden. Not bad for a retired Army Colonel.

And so our home in Baguio continues to be a comfortable place to be in.

His wisdom, as I later learned, came from humbly asking the experts. Surprising at his age, Papa has become even more receptive to fresh inputs and continues to be. Indeed, his lack of understanding does not intimidate him. He loves listening and learning from those who know their craft, regardless whether they are half his age, even younger. What was always important for him is that he is learning and it is through his humility that he continues to build wonderful things with his hands.

Papa may have his moments and can get pretty impatient with those who put no premium on their work. But people's reactions to everyday situations are reflections of their beliefs. For Papa, nothing else works but a job well done. And at 82, he still lives by this creed.

I was in Baguio a few days back and was quietly listening to his stories. The journey he has taken and the heights he has reached will always awe and inspire. I can not help thinking that I have a big shoe to fill here.

It is a different thing to criticize, another to act. The former, from my view, comes from an empty heart while the latter from an indomitable spirit. The last best describes Papa.

Yes, I am deeply honored I am my father's son.


Friday, March 11, 2011

True Gifts



Recently I received a gift. It's one of those you never dream ever landing on your lap, that leave you gasping for breath out of disbelief and then makes you cry.

No, it is not that dream house up the hill. Not yet. But it is just as grand and very much up my mountain.


And to receive it from someone totally unexpected, (someone who until recently was just known to me as a dear friend deeply devoted to his advocacy, of unbelievable humor, hailing from some far away Texas) truly makes it a thing of deep value.

There are gifts that hold you spellbound for weeks, even for the rest of your life. Like the gift of your first born, her first smile, her first laugh and her first “Papa!”. Gifts like her first ballet recital, her first bike ride without those trainers, her first lap of the pool and her triumph over leukemia.

And then there are gifts that remind you the true meaning of friendships, of the self-giving that still abounds. Priceless gifts they are for they came from deep within the giver's heart, born out of deep faith on the one receiving the gift.

They are special gifts that makes the recipient want to give back, to be generous, to pay it forward. They lead hearts like my own to seek goodness in all things, appreciate all things, grateful for all things.

A favorite author wrote in a blog that “A true gift is a heartfelt connection, something that changes both the giver and the recipient.”

I couldn't agree more.