Oh The Drama!

Photo credit: en.wikipedia.org

Right after Cecille got her prognosis, we were invited to attend a seminar on Women and Cancer in one of the best hospitals in Manila.

A lady doctor, to create presentation impact, showed photos of well known celebrities who survived their battle with the big C. Among them she made particular mention of Sheryl Crow. I would have left it at that but when she immediately added that Lance Armstrong left her as soon as he learned she has cancer, it was difficult listening to the rest of her talk.

I am sure she is not privy to the lives of this couple. Any knowledge she has regarding the split can only be speculative, if not taken from gossip. But if she was genuinely focused on cancer than on dramatics, she would have mentioned Lance as himself a survivor, a Tour de France icon for winning it several times in a row - an achievement beyond compare and which proves there is life after cancer, and finally the very one who started the Livestrong movement whose aim is to help those stricken with the dreaded disease. Then this doctor's presentation would have achieved something truly positive and consequently shower her audience with hope.

But wherever her info about the Sheryl-Lance separation came from, she got the attention she wanted. “Drama” has pulling power even when based on half-baked truths.

Sadly, in this journey me and Cecille are in, there are some we know who expect a “drama” ending. And since no “drama” is apparent, they are quietly disappointed about her progress and the total healing we already see looming on the horizon. They see weeping and moaning and dwelling on death far more interesting than joy as fruit of hope, optimism, and basking in life.

Maybe living in this broken world has made us want to search for disappointments more than hope. We remain pessimists because we do not want to be disappointed with sad endings. In essence, ironic it may be,  there are those who prefer suiting themselves up for failure than success, suffering than healing. I find this sort of attitude very self-defeating.

A close relative living in the US, whenever we talk would, without fail, air her worries about the possibility of finding herself without work next year. I am not sure if it is their way of telling me I should not expect from them any biking related items from Jenson's or Performance Bikes even if they are on sale. 

And yet, for as long as I remember, through all the recession and the economic troubles that US had, she remains connected with the same company that recruited her so many years ago, facilitated her family's permanent residence in the US, received treatment at Stanford for her type of cancer, and was able to send her children to private schools. With all the good things going for her, I wonder where all the gloom is coming from. Drama school? Perhaps.

I am beginning to think that all this talk of failure and darkness stems from the belief that indulging in it creates a sense of security, a buffer from eventual suffering. They dwell on sad endings thinking they will shed fewer tears in the event it really happens. As if talking incessantly about the bad will prevent it from actually taking place. Really?

We have inundated ourselves with so much of the bad that we have forgotten a simple fact: where we focus, where we turn our gaze, there we will go. My good friend Alex says it better: “What we are conscious of, manifests.” But since “drama”, no matter how ill its effect, is interesting so we submit. And then we complain.

Science talks of the existence of totipotent cells in our bodies that manufacture cancer cells when a person is in severe depression. With all this bad we insist dwelling on, we are essentially telling our bodies to get sick.

Then again, there is “drama” in being depressed, in being seen as suffering, in being hopeless, in being sick. In fact, I know of folks who insist they are better than the rest because they have illness more than anyone else. Please, take this cancer with you!!!!

But Cecille and I want nothing of that. We are keenly focused on hope, on ending this journey on a high note, on healing.

Without the drama.