Coffee Moments, Profound Thoughts

I was having coffee with a brother-in-law this morning and I was pleasantly surprised on the lessons I learned from him.

Tony believes that during this age of supposed mid-life crisis:

a) Sibling rivalry is no longer an issue.
b) There is nothing more to prove.
c) We have run the race.

What I think Tony really meant was life would be a more pleasant experience if we learn to taper down our expectations, if we learn to let go, let things be, learn to be more accepting.

Too often we fit people around us in a box we so designed in order to please ourselves. I do not know if this desire is driven by our own sense of mortality. We are intent on choreographing each and every dance that will take place in our lives in fear that our happiness will be compromised if someone steps out of line.

But rather than enjoy the moment, we end up more miserable than ever.

We have forgotten that in the richness of the diversity that surrounds us is where we can find true happiness. It is not defined by a single point of view but rather is infinite. And that view will never appear clear to us if are not willing to let go, to let things be, to be more accepting.

As Cecille says, letting go is expecting less. And rightly so for it is in expecting less that we learn to be more accepting.

Indeed, there is nothing more to prove specially at this age of supposed mid-life crisis, myself at 52. We have seen better days, have experienced finer things. We may have yet to achieve most of our dreams but we know how it is to be happy. We have loved and have been loved back. We have run the race.

We learned to accept that rivalry, sibling and others, is no longer important. Far more important is that we were blessed with people who were happy just to have spent even a slight moment of their years with us. No matter how far fetched their beliefs may be right now, there is no denying they have been a good part of us.

Oh yes, as a close, it does takes tremendous effort to let go specially because it demands humility. But humility often leads us to people who love being with us, think highly of us mainly because we are not complicated.

I love coffee moments. Sometimes along with the aroma comes the profound.

Through Children's Eyes

Children have so much to teach. In my recent road trip with Carmella, she did just that.

It was only me and her, in an old van with a broken down air conditioner, on a long trip to our family home far up North.

But not a whimper. She is busy thinking of the fun she's going to have with her cousins. Her expectations is far more important than the uncomfortable trip.

Yes, we adults may have an idea of what probably lies on the next bend and children may have a limited view on most things.

But while we may have the experience, children have their innocence. Which is perhaps why they continuously see only what is good in all things.

Yes, us adults put too much emphasis on what can go wrong while children just can't wait for things to happen.

Adults are so obsessed on making sure events turn out the way they expect, insistent on control. Children, on the other hand, just enjoy whatever comes along.

Adults see the hotel and it's amenities. Children see the beach.

Adults see differences. Children see similarities.

Adults take many things for granted. My 4-year-old nephew Jack-jack finds an old squeaky gate at Grandma's house along Brookside Road something worth his whole afternoon.

Adults aim for perfection. Children are prepared to be wrong.

Which is why, in Sir Ken Robinson's view, they always come up with something original.

How?

Adults try desperately to sing that song as close to the original as they can. Children, on the other hand, will sing about Superman, Ironman, Batman or any of the Justice League in the tune of an old Spiderman TV theme and be so proud about their sense of originality.

The secret to their joy? I would like to think it is in their way of sensing the extraordinary in things we adults ignore, their enthusiasm to have fun, their ability to focus on what truly matters in their youth.

Young they may be but are the true experts on enjoying the moment. And why not when the world is constantly a fun place in their eyes?